Trump’s Reveals Bald Facts

General Hair Loss
Did Trump's hair get him elected?

After months, decades maybe, of wild speculation about the state of Donald Trump’s hair the sitting President finally came clean during a presentation… we just had to look closer.


A Long Battle With Hair Loss

According to his own doctor, Trump has been using an FDA approved hair loss medication for a long time. On it’s own it would not prove enough to stop the advances of genetically inherited male pattern baldness… check out pictures of Donald with his dad back in the eighties and you will that Donald Jr was already sporting an ambitious comb over, while dad appeared to have more hair on his eyebrows than on his head. Thirty years on and that comb over has become a thing of wonder. Such are the complex waves and sweeps of mane that it is impossible to say what started where and where it travels, it is the result, by his own admission, of serious time spent in front of  a mirror each morning armed only with a comb and a couple of cans of fast hold hairspray.

Wild Speculation

We have written before on the various theories offered to explain what we are looking at atop the Presidents head. Some blame outdated procedures like scalp reduction, others suggest he went down the road of a transplant and that the crazy stylings are necessary to hide the scars. None of which ever sounded completely convincing. Appearances on TV where he had been asked about his hair gave one presenter, Jimmy Fallon, the opportunity to run his hands through the then President-elect’s hair… something Mr Fallon says has held him back since. While it was a slightly ignominious moment for Donald, one we are certain he will never allow to be repeated, it certainly gave the lie to any theory suggesting he wore a hair system… not that we ever thought he did. While we have seen plenty of bad hair systems we cannot imagine anyone ever walking in and paying good money, with all due respect, to end up with Donald’s mane.

The Truth Will Out

There were clues. It is tough to walk up the steps onto Air Force One on a windy day and keep your hair in place. Recently an unkind gust seemed to lift the hair on the back of his head, like a cover on a dinner plate it revealed a large bare patch beneath.

So we come to a conservative conference in Maryland where Donald was speaking to the faithful. Glancing around he became aware of the screens in the room showing him from numerous angles, his attention was drawn to one screen that was showing him from behind. He drew the crowd’s attention to the screen saying “What a nice picture that is. Look at that. I’d love to watch that guy speak.” He then seemed to consider how his hair appeared from that angle and began putting his hands to his hair.. He went on “Oh, I try like hell to hide that bald spot folks, I work hard at it.” It doesn’t look bad. Hey we are hanging in there. Right? Together we are hanging in.”

HIS Hair Clinic

So the worst kept secret in executive hair is finally out, and confirmed by the President himself. Which means that we can celebrate the first bald President in a long, long time.

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